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Ouch…that hurt!!!

By Alan Davey

From a very young age we are taught about looking after our physical health. We are shown how to clean our teeth, wash our hands, the need for physical exercise and good personal hygiene and the like.  All good things for sure.

But when it comes to the area of our emotional health most of us have had very little guidance in how to care for ourselves. 

Our physical body indicates to us, via the pain senses, physical issues we need to be aware of and address. For example, if I have a stone in my shoe the pain in my foot makes me aware of this and then I am able to respond appropriately. 

‘As for the body, so too for the soul’. Just as our physical pain sensors indicate issues that need attention, so too our emotional pain sensors can also indicate issues that may need to be addressed.       

Unfortunately, because we have not been taught how to deal with this type of pain we can end up turning to unhealthy ways to try and cope, and consequently we can find ourselves struggling with relationships, beating up on ourselves and hurting each other. 

Much of this pain can be traced back to the sub-consciously held beliefs that we formed, often but not always, in our childhood. 

It’s a little bit like having a drum of toxic chemicals leaking out in the basement of your house. It doesn’t matter what colour you decide to paint the outside or the wallpaper, what furniture you put on the inside or, for that matter, the car you have in the garage, none of these things address the fumes that are constantly coming up from the basement. 

If you have ever ridden a horse you know that sitting on it and just hoping it will go where you want it to go doesn’t actually work, nor does getting angry and yelling at it. If you want the horse to go where you want it to go then you need to pick up the reins and learn to ride it. In the same way just getting angry at life or just hoping life will come right doesn’t work either. What we actually need to do is get back the reins of our own lives and learn how to deal with the issues that are poisoning us and infecting those around us.

Like the old saying goes; 

“If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.”  

If you are happy with what you’re getting from your life then that’s fine, but if you’re not then I encourage you to pursue finding that freedom.

Alan Davey

Alan Davey

A former pastor, Alan has been counselling in the Waikato for over a decade. He enjoys seeing people find a permanent freedom from issues that may have been plaguing them for years. Alan is available for one-on-one counselling sessions, in person or via phone or Zoom etc.

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